like, i haven't experienced anything that everyone else has yet. or maybe i never will.
i'm so hungry lately but when i do eat, my stomach hurts and i can practically see my jeans getting tighter on me.
i went into my bathroom and after eating a piece of cake, i leaned over the toilet and tried to throw it up. nothing came out. i felt sick, and not just from doing that. i stayed in there and cried for about a hour. i turned the faucet on so it would seem like i was taking a shower.
this summer, i've made so many claims. what if i don't follow up with them? what if i don't return for my school new year, tanned and skinny?
i just want my family to be proud of me. for my mom. my friends. for them to look at me and not feel ashamed. be proud to say they know me.
i wish i could get rid of this empty feeling. i wish i could stop feeling this way, to feel happy and content with what i have,
i wish i didn't care about what other people thought of me. i don't belong at SRHS. sometimes, i feel like i don't even belong with my family.
all the time i hear, "becca, you're too sensitive. you care too much. you're not trying hard enough."
i'm trying really hard.
really, really hard.
sometimes i feel like i'm wasting my life away.