?

Log in

Previous 10 | Next 10

May. 19th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

i don't know what to do anymore.
school is ending soon...but it's dragging on for me. i am practically counting down to june 4th. and this stupid DATA project is on my back. i messed it up, i'm nervous about presenting it...but why? i won't see this kids next year. i'll be in a whole new school. why do i care what their last opinions of me are?
next year, 11th grade, i'll be someone they won't recongize.
and that's what keeps me going to school. the promise of the most amazing summer ever.

i have been putting job applications in like crazy, and i have a feeling i'll get lucky. now i just hope i didn't jinx it.
whenever i say my life is going pretty good, i always end up crying into my pillow days later. so i'll just say, i'm going to make sure my summer goes amazing.
even if that means i make myself walk around the block all day because no one else can hang, i'll do it. get lost in my iPod and lose myself in my neighborhood.
you can see beauty in every situation.


Changing by paperframephoto (EXPRESSED)

You have enormous untapped power
you'll probably never tap, because
most people never run far enough on
their first wind to ever find they have a second.
++William James

May. 15th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

my throat hurts.
i missed chorus practice, and mrs. harvey is going to kill me.
i completely forgot about it. i fell asleep and only remembered when becka reminded me.
i just felt too bad to stay for five hours.

i have this sinking feeling i'm failing school.
i just want to make my mom proud. i really do.
i work so hard, and i get a D in math and now, a C in chorus or whatever.
i mean, failing chorus? how lame is that?

i guess i'll just tell my mom the truth and she'll call mrs. harvey to explain.
if only i hadn't missed the other practice too....

SHIT!

|| ECCLESIASTES 11:5 ||
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
new international version

Goodbye To Yesterday (EXPRESSED)

May. 14th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
You'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand (then you stand)
Yea, then you stand (then you stand)

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
, yea
Ooohhh

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand (then you stand)
Then you stand (then you stand)
Yea, then you stand (then you stand)
Yea (then you stand)
Ohhh (then you stand)
Ohhh (then you stand)
Ohhh (then you stand)
Ohhh (then you stand)
Then you stand

i got into charter. :D

|| PROVERBS 31:30 ||
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
new international version

++

Jump For Joy (EXPRESSED)

May. 8th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

 I GOT INTO CHARTER!

i'm so happy.
:DDDDDDD

i was just realizing today.
even if my friends decide not to go, i'll be fine.
i want them to join me so badly, so i'll have the comfort of at least knowing a few people there.

but if they don't, it'll be fine.
i'll be fine.

|| COLOSSIANS 4:5-6 ||
Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
new living translation

Danielaix by themesmerisiwi4 (EXPRESSED)

oh, and p.s.
i love gossip girl.
:D

May. 4th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

i get mad when people don't talk to me when really, it's me that pushed them away.
i don't mean to be anti-social.
i've been alone for so long, it almost feels weird to have company.

my lips are incredibly chapped and it's pissing me off.
i went to unscrew my chapstick today and the lip just popped off, flying somewhere. i didn't feel like finding it.

this entire weekend, my mom has been extra hard on me. like, everything that i do bothers her. i don't really get it, but whatever.
i ate a big bowl of ice cream in my bath tonight. this is disgusting. i have no willpower, and yet i complain when i can't fit into my jeans.

i miss feeling normal.
i'm doing it all over again--spending way too much time on my computer.
i thought i had this solved.
damnit.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs--ask yourself
what makes you come alive, and then do it. Because
what the world needs is people who have come alive."
++Harold Thurman Whitman

The Hippie Days (EXPRESSED)

May. 3rd, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

 i really thought my mom would dislike juno.
but she laughed the entire way through.
she surprises me, sometimes.

gosh, i've been in such a weird mood today.
and it's the second time i've skipped my workout. i'll start again tommorow.

i feel so heavy all the time.
like, continously stuffed. even when i'm not eating.
it's too weird and it makes me totally self-conscious.
i hate it.

i have a cramp in my neck. i wish rupert grint was here to massage it.
errrrm. i mean.

"Love the animals, love the plants, love everything.
If you love everything, you will precieve the divine
mystery in things. Once you precieve it, you will
begin to comprehend it better everyday. And you
will come at last to love the whole world with an
all-embracing love."
++Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Little Girl (EXPRESSED)

my chapsticks all gone. i keep wanting to peel my lip. that sounds gross.

Apr. 30th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

i am a writer.

i will never stop being a writer.
whenever i see something, i describe it in my mind.
when i'm talking, there's a pen scribbling down words inwardly.

his mouth twisted into an angry grimace, practically spitting out his words but they didn't touch her. she couldn't see his eyes, but she could tell they were wild under those black sunglasses. she had taken those sunglasses once and had put them on, taking funny pictures with her old friends.
she instantly quieted and turned her face to the side, letting the sunshine warm her. her lips trembled, and she tried very, very hard not to let the tears fall just yet.

my eye hurts.
i have a counselor appointment at 5.
and i really, really want it to be summer.

|| PSALM 118:5 ||
In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.

Let Your Waves Crash (EXPRESSED)

You cannot go on 'explaining away' forever: you will
find that you have explained explanation itself away.
You cannot go on 'seeing through' things for ever.
The whole point of seeing through something is to see
something through it."
++C.S. Lewis

Apr. 24th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

today, i think i handled myself very maturely.
i feel like i finally stood up for myself.

Apr. 19th, 2008

jamesbeth

for becka <3

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Dont be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
cause Ive seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You dont know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you

So if youre mad, get mad
Dont hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well Im a lot like you
When youre standing at the crossroads
And dont know which path to choose
Let me come along
cause even if youre wrong

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
Youre feeling all alone
You wont be on your own

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you

cheesy, i know. oh well. (: <3!

Apr. 14th, 2008

jamesbeth

(no subject)

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame


Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy

Warm me up
And breathe me


Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe


Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me


Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

i bolded every part that reminded me of myself.
it's the entire song.

Previous 10 | Next 10